Olympia Springs meat shower - 1876

At 2 Pm, March 03rd (Friday) Allen Crouch sat in his living room of his Family farm in Kentucky, when screams from his wife arose him to action. His Wife had been busy outside making soup when all of the sudden chunks of fresh meat began to fall on her.

The meat shower continued for 3 to 5 minutes before the sunny, windless afternoon returned to its precious calm state. what was left were chunks of meat and blood splattered all over the ground. The rain had covered the Farm the size of a football field.

People from the town came as soon as they heard of the event to collect the fallen flesh, or what was left of it since the animals of the farm where already in the process of eating it.

The towns people found the situation so intriguing that some of them decided to cook it and eat to figure out what it might be.  those who tasted the meat later told the New York times that it tasted like Venison. One of those adventurous Americans was Benjamin Franklin Allington a bear hunter, and he proclaimed that the meat was most certainly bear meat.

Samples of the meat where shipped to universities to try and figure out what it was, and perhaps how it had come to fall from the sky.

All of the scientific tests where inconclusive, although theories of what the meat actually was range from Horse lungs, Human babies, Human beings, and perhaps regurgitated animal meat from flying buzzards. (I do hope that the poor folks who tasted the meat didn't hear that theory)

Other theories about the cause of the meat rain were that perhaps some one got caught in a tornado holding a knife, cut themselves into tiny little pieces, and when the tornado finished its course the pieces fell from the sky. This theory does not make sense how ever because it was only flesh that fell from the sky, and not bone. 

Another theory is that Buzzards had feasted on horse meat and just as they were passing the farm, they all decided to regurgitate the meat at the same time, which also does not make sense because why would they all decide to regurgitate the meat at the same time? and how many Buzzards would have to vomit to cover the size of a football field? and if there happened to be hundreds of birds flying at the same time, how come no one saw them? 

Another theory states that if fallen stars and rock fall from the stars why not cosmic meat? This theory I don't even have to try to discredit because its just retarded and I cant believe a scientist came up with it. The theory states that just a worlds hundreds of millions of miles away explode and the rock from these worlds fall from time to time on our world, so can the citizens of such world disintegrate into little pieces and fall on our world, except that it happened in a small farm, and only once in the history of human kind. right...

Here is my theory...ready?

Pissed off wive sees her husband drinking lemonade in the cold shade of the house, gets angry that she is outside making meat, fat and bone into soap while he stretches his legs, decides to grab the load and throw it in a fit of madness. She then realizes that everyone will be talking about her, and since its 1876 her husband will probably also give her a good spanking for her trouble. So, she makes up a story that the meat just fell from the sky.  

What about the witnesses you say? well it all happened in the crouch family farm, the only witness was a slave and mrs. Crouch who could have told him that if he speaks he dies. 

What do you think?